In my heart I know I’m a geek. I never participated in role playing games, I never read Lord of the Rings and I don’t know html, but somehow I feel a kinship with these people. Maybe it’s because I majored in theater and have an unhealthy love of musicals. Maybe it’s because I was on the speech and debate team. Perhaps it’s my mothers fault. She always told me to go for the shy and studious type. “They may not seem like much now,” she’d say, “but these guys will end up having great jobs in the future and they tend to be more appreciative of women.” The truth is I’m more of a spaz than a geek, but our packs tend to run together.
I’m also from Duluth which is where Geek Prom was originally conceived, so it was inevitable that I would eventually attend.
Geek Prom was way better than my high school prom. For one thing there was a bar, and my outfit was much more comfortable. And it didn’t matter what you wore as long as it was geeky. There were no judgments, the more bizarre, ill fitting and mismatched, the better. The world could learn a lot from Geeks.
We were entertained by an ELO cover band called ELnO. When I was a kid ELO did the soundtrack for a movie called Xanadu. It’s a terrible movie, but it had my two favorite things at the time, Olivia Newton John and roller skating. Needless to say I was more than pleased. I danced my ass off. Unfortunately, I did not win the spazziest dancer competition. I am not usually a competitive person except when it comes to things I know I have a good chance at winning. That’s not to say that I’m a sucky dancer. In fact, I’m a very a good dancer, that’s why I thought I had a good chance at winning. It’s like when they say you have to be intelligent to play the part of an idiot. To me it was a similar principle. When I heard about this contest, I became obsessed. I HAD to win. I channeled all the spaztastic energy I could physically muster. Almost trancelike, I pulled out the oddest of moves. At one point, I even made out with my own hand. Not my proudest of moments, but it had to be done. I made it pretty far, but was eventually eliminated by some guy dressed like the Starburst berries and cream guy. I will never enjoy that commercial in the same way again.
The night ended with what has come to be known as the traditional geek streak. A group of pasty white men decided to go streaking. To me, streaking is always funny and should never be considered indecent exposure. Indecent exposure is a dude at the park showing his penis to ten year olds, not running twenty feet through a crowd of drunk adults and then heading to the bathroom. Unfortunately, the St. Paul police were unaware of this tradition and don’t agree with my theory. The streakers were given tickets and asked to leave, which is fine. What I don’t understand was why they needed to pepper spray the guys. That’s right, I said pepper spray. I’m sorry, are naked geeks running to the bathroom some sort a threat? Apparently it was because they didn’t stop when the police officer commanded them to, but what would you do if you were buck naked and six feet from the bathroom? Who knew if they even heard the guy over the music and cheering? I was not alone in this sentiment. As the streakers were given their citations, the crowd began to chant, “Free the geeks, free the geeks!” It reminded me of a scene from the cult movie, Freaks. “One of us, one of us!”
I bumped into some of the streakers at the bar after the prom. They didn’t seem as upset about the incident as I was, so I was happy about that.
In the morning I woke up with a jolt. I suddenly remembered that not only did I make out with my own hand, but pictures were taken as well. Solid proof that I was now, officially, a geek. "One of us, one of us!"
Ah heck, it was all worth it. In the end I got to meet a really great group of people who I hope to see again. Here’s a list of their blogs. (Minus Mary who doesn’t have a blog but is still cool, nonetheless.)
http://afterglide.com
http://hedydevine.blogspot.com
http://ambercoloredlife.blogspot.com
http://jenc17.blogspot.com
http://www.masturbatorymentation.com/
http://kittykatlounge.blogspot.com
5 comments:
Like I said, you totally deserved to win the dance competition! You were by far the spaziest. Also, that berries and cream guy cut me, too. I am still pissed.
The pepper spraying of the geek-streakers was so over the top. The streaking is an annual Geek Prom tradition. I remember seeing the streakers last year, but don't recall them being hassled let alone maced. Saturday night I got hit with enough of the stuff (as an innocent bystander) that I could still taste it when I woke up the next morning. Blech.
That said, I had an otherwise lovely evening.
There's no question you belong, my dear. The pics tell the tale.
But the Berries & Cream guy needed to be taken down a peg. He let his VIP status go to his head. It was just like that movie where the geek got all cool and forgot about his friends and starting sleeping with the head cheerleader and had to be reminded what was really important, and then the head cheerleader still liked him because she respected his morals and forthright nature. And maybe his doggie style too, but that wasn't mentioned.
Thanks Hedy. Who knew I'd be so happy to hear someone tell me that I was by far the spaziest!
Sharyn, sorry you had to suffer the pepper spray. I really wanted to give that officer a piece of my mind, but I fear authority.
And Rich, you're right. That guy got all 1980's Patrick Dempsey on us. Drunk with power. tsk tsk.
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